ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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