his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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