Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
