Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
