Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Mom said you looked used
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
