whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
