I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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