my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Rumble strips road head = magical
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
