i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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