so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
