talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
