Pappa wants mamma naked
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
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