Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
