I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
