i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
