i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
