I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
