i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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