Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
