What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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