If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
