If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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