i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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