I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
