Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
