How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
