I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
