K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
