i may or may not be watching the land before time
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize