people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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