I must be too annoying 4 u.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
