i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You ate ashes out of my bong
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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