i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
