So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im holly from the hills drunk
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
