note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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