Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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