then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
