ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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