She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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