Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
