Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
