I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
