Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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