We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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