i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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