All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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