Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
