What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
too bad you live with your parents still
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
