Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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