i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
