Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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