would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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