Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
His hands were made for my vagina.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize