I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
