Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Randomize
