you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
