so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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