I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Sponge bath it is.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
