Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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