he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
