Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
