I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
