great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Semen is not good for contacts.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
