he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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